Where She Needs to Go
by Three AM
Summary: She stopped directly in front of him, standing and unmoving. She couldn’t break away from his piercing gaze. And right at that moment, she regretted coming home to him. ShikaSaku.


**Title:** Where She Needs to Go  
**Author:** Three AM  
**Rating:** R  
**Theme:** #9 Dash!  
**Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.  
**A/N:** Another entry for the lj community, 30kisses. This story has a rating of R. Be warned!

xxxxxx

_Tell you where you need to go  
__Tell you when you need to leave  
__Tell you what you need to know  
__Tell you who you need to be  
__Everything inside you  
__Knows there's more than what you've heard  
__There's so much more than empty conversations  
__Filled with empty words  
- __On Fire, Switchfoot_

She opened the door to his bedroom and headed straight towards his waking form. In the dim moonlight streaming from his window, she could see him frown and blink his sleep away. She continued walking towards him, her unusually blank eyes holding his penetrating black ones. She saw him sat up straighter from his bed. She clenched her jaw.

She stopped directly in front of him, standing and unmoving. She couldn't break away from his piercing gaze. And right at that moment, she regretted coming home to him.

Damn it. He could just see everything.

Though how much she tried closing her curtains around her, he always found something imperfect. A small, almost nonexistent, hole he could cut completely, stripping all of her defenses away. Baring her naked.

Sometimes, he scared her.

She breathed in deeply. And ever so slowly, she straddled his lap. Her Jounin pants brushed against his boxers, her arms going around his neck. She pushed herself closer to him, trying to get as much body heat as she could get. He was always warm and that was one of the things she liked about him. She was always cold, and she was grateful to him for giving her the comfort of warmth she had always craved.

She buried her face in the crook of his neck, pressing her body more fully to him, if that was even possible. There was a moment of pause before she felt his arms going around her.

Tight. Close.

Warm.

Something in her chest loosened and she could breathe again. She bit her lower lip, knowing fully well that the hated tears would rain down again. She closed her green eyes and pressed her lips, forcing back a cry. He had never seen her cry and she was not going to break it now.

Weak. As always.

"It's okay," he whispered. Oh so gently. So softly. Like a kiss of a butterfly against her ear.

She tensed. One of his hands buried itself into her outrageous pink locks, and she felt the other going at her lower back.

"I won't leave," he said, pressing a lingering kiss on top of her head.

She trusted him.

So she did.

She got his neck and shoulder wet. Salty tears fell from cold bleak green eyes, trailed to his neck, and down to his bare chest. She clutched his neck tighter, clinging to him as if her miserable life depended on it. Maybe it did.

She made no noise as she cried her pain out. She made no move as she dwelled on the innocent imagery of the past. An old fading painting of blue skies, meadow of bright flowers, and three grinning men.

And now it was fast collecting dust in the farthest corner of her soul. A buried treasure willing to be forgotten.

She didn't know how long it had been since she stopped crying. He didn't move at all and he didn't seem to want to be the first one to stir. She realized he was waiting for her. She almost smiled, if it wasn't for the dark clouds looming over her mind. She knew it had always been his forte, along with his strategic planning and attack skills and his impossibly high IQ. She could not really understand why he preferred lazing around and doing nothing, while he could very well take any action he wanted since he's considered the smartest among the geniuses.

Or maybe she did understand, but she bet her reason was altogether different.

She too had always been waiting, though in her heart of hearts she knew it was fruitless. But she still continued. Waiting. Patiently. Staring out at the blank space wishing for an impossible moment to see again the familiar faces of three grinning men.

They never came.

And today she discovered why.

With an unexpected intensity and a surprising burst of something akin to power, she pushed her mouth hard against his. She sucked his lower lip until she was sure it became swollen. She traced his lips with her tongue. She nibbled and bit, until he finally got over his shock and caved in. He opened his mouth a little and she took the slim chance to force her tongue inside his mouth.

She put her hands against his shoulders and pushed him back in his bed, with her lips still locked with his. She rubbed her body against his, warmth drifting between them like an invisible intoxicating smoke binding them together. She could feel beads of sweat starting to form in her forehead and around his neck. It was getting hotter by each passing second they shared, by each passionate kisses they exchanged.

Fires of passion and desire burned them together. Branded them as one.

She suddenly drew back. Still holding his heated gaze, she pushed her tank top above her head and tossed it somewhere in his dark room. Then she snapped her bra open and quickly discarded it.

Silence.

He took in the sight of her with so much yearning and amazement painted in his black eyes. To him, she was perfection. Her small breasts filled his hands nicely. Almost flat abdomen gave way to her full hips, making her waist curve nicely. And her pearly white skin… so flawless and pure. There wasn't a single scar visible in any part of her body, thanks to her extraordinary healing abilities.

But he knew that far more delicate scars were hidden inside her lamenting soul. He knew that she was hoping to cover them with her medic skills. And he also knew how much she killed herself every night just to purge them completely from her existence.

To him, she was perfection, no matter how many imperfections she carried in herself.

He just wished that he would be able to stop her ritual suicides and make her see herself as he sees her.

His hands crawling up her arms, he started pulling her back to him. But this time, he kissed her back with such slow excruciating seduction. He started licking her wet tears from her cheeks. He kissed both of her closed eyes, her nose, and then finally her lips. He felt her pushing her own way back again, but he resisted. This time, he would be the one in control.

He rolled over, making him on top of her. He trapped both of her wrists above her head, with his lower body pressed closely against hers. He looked down at her silently, tracing her every features and curves with his black eyes. He watched her as she slowly opened her eyes and stared up at him.

Silently, he said he understood.

And she was in awe.

He leaned forward and caught her lips with small unhurried kisses. One of his hands trailed from her wrist down to her arms. He felt her tremble slightly and he continued branding her skin as his lips moved to her jaw and down to her neck.

He kissed, he sucked, he marked.

His hand cupped her bare breast, making her breathed in sharply. He squeezed it lightly and then teased her nipple between his fingers. He fed on one of her breasts while he continued caressing the other one. He felt her legs wound around his waist, pushing his lower body closer to hers. Thoroughly provoked, he pressed his hot hard arousal against her center and she gasped loudly.

She dug her fingers into his shoulder. "Shikamaru," she whispered desperately. She was panting heavily now, feeling a strong sense of something similar to a mixture of excitement and fright. She couldn't understand it thoroughly. It was always like that with him. She would always feel ashamedly vulnerable… yet exultantly treasured.

To her, it was totally strange.

Kisses after kisses. Burning touches after another. Frictions of two perfectly fitted bodies rocked against one another.

She moved in rhythm with him. She ran in synchronization with his own fast pace. She panted in tune with him, their breaths becoming one. Her air became his. Her space was his space too. Her bliss was his bliss. Her core was his.

_Him._

"S-Shi… Shikamaru," she called out his name and he, in response, kissed her so forcefully. He kissed her all too willing mouth with much fervor as he thrust in and out of her again and again.

Again and again.

_Fast. In and out, in and out, again and again._

So fast…

_Dash!_

Their union was a shattered glass of space, brimming with endless of stars and stardust alike. Flying in a huge vast of bright emptiness.

Where no one could understand what had just transpired between them. Where no one could ever comprehend the glorifying ecstasy that splintered their souls.

Broke their essences… only to be united again in one fulfilling moment.

Still on inside and on top of her, he rested his sweaty forehead against hers. He was breathing heavily like her, his open mouth an inch away from hers. He opened his eyes and stared down at her still closed ones.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly. Slowly, he watched her open her familiar green eyes.

She smiled a little and managed a little nod. He started pulling away from her but she held him back. She wound her arms around his neck and pressed him close to her. "Not yet," she whispered.

"But you're tired and I know I'm a bit heavy—"

"I want…" She stared at him.

_I want you inside me. I still want to feel you pulsing inside of me. I want you. I need you. I don't know what to do without you. I need you to be with me. I need to be with you. Don't leave…_

_Don't leave me!_

A single trail of tear started falling down. Quickly ashamed of herself for starting to cry again, she turned her head away from him. But he framed her face with his hands and held her steady.

Steady. _He had always been her rock. _

"I told you, I won't leave," he said simply. Just like that.

And she believed him.

Through the night, he just held her. And she held him back. Acceptance. Of everything. Of the past and the present. Of the future.

That night, she dreamed of blue skies, meadow of bright flowers, and three grinning men waving at her. She waved back and this time, she was the one who turned around first.

Smiling widely, she ran toward one man with a lazy grin. And straight into his open arms.

xxxxxx

**A/N:** Whoa. That was hard for me to write. There were so many times when I'm facing a blank white screen and I just hated it that I always end up leaving it for next time, until it beckoned to me again and here it is! XD Comments or anything are greatly appreciated!


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